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Joke of the Day

"Is it too much to ask that my gay friends flamboyantly leap from closets when I visit their houses?"

"My GF said she wanted to try in the other hole. I'm afraid she might get pregnant, what should I do ?"

"Yes, I have read 'Game Of Thrones'. No, It is not any different from the show. -Me, after watching Game of Thrones with subtitles."

"What do you do with dead atoms? Barium"

"I childproofed my house, but they keep getting in."

"""Love me do"" was written by John Lennon... After he got a really nice haircut"

"What does a racist joke and a crime have in common? They both start with you looking over your shoulder."

"I grew a beard thinking it would say ""Distinguished Gentleman."" Instead, turns out it says, ""Senior Discount, Please!"""

"Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"

"I shaved my head the other day... At first I hated the look, but it's starting to grow on me."