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Joke of the Day

"[campfire] ME: They say these trees are over 200 years old. Man, if trees could talk... TREE: Please stop burning my flesh to cook hot dogs."

"Why did the horny girl go to Subway? For a $5 footlong."

"Whats the hardest part about roller skating Telling your parents you are gay"

"Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer is my favorite song about how to incorrectly deal with the loss of a loved one during the holiday"

"how are high schoolers similar to women? they're always asking ""when will this period be over?"""

"Why did the cow return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back."

"I went to the movies yesterday, and I met the most insensitive homophobe there I mean, just the mere sight of me masturbating sent him off on a rant about ""morals"" and ""his children"" and ""security""."

"What does it mean when a chameleon cant change color? Reptile - disfunction"

"Take my advice I'm not using it."

"""You gotta keep 'em separated!"" -the dude from the Offspring whenever he's doing laundry."