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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"What do you call a midget psychic that escaped from jail? A Small Medium at Large"

"What's the difference between my porn stash and Call of Duty? One is full of screaming 10 year old boys and the other is Call of Duty."

"I misspelled armageddon the other day... But I guess it's not the end of the world"

"You know you're getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink."

"Judging by his physique, I'd guess Popeye's a pretty accomplished masturbator."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who switched to Spam? He said it's the greatest thing since sliced Fred"

"I'm Going to stuff your stocking good.Wink. Wink."

"What has nine arms and blows? Def Leppard"

"""I'm quite content on this side of the street, thank you."" -- No squirrel ever."