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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the murder of the door maker? The police said it was an open and shut case."

"Your words of wisdom make me want to seek the tranquility and comfort of a mental institution."

"Monorail joke I love making jokes about monorails, they make the best one-liners!"

"Why are 490 Romans funny? Because XD"

"I've decided to always wear a Seahawks jersey to exams when I forget to study for them. That way I'll pass when I shouldn't."

"Why did the plant get sentenced to death? Cause bush did 9/11"

"[ambulance] medic: sir do you need oxygen me: no dying is fine"

"Overheard this at Grand Canyon. ""Why do they put chicken wire around these plants? Other guy:"" To protect the chicken plants"""

"How many guys in the friendzone does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just stand around and compliment it, and then get pissed when it won't screw"

"My wife had her driver's test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear."