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Joke of the Day

"Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

"What's worse? Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else?"

"Trump and Hillary are in a plane crash. Who survives? America"

"Cross posted to r/Christianity"

"Did you hear about the woman who was shot 24 times in the back?! They say she got up afterwards, putting her clothes back on, and exclaimed ""Wow, your reload time is *amazing*!"""

"What is Beethoven doing in his grave? He's de-composing ! Happy Halloween everyone."

"Me: Hey, I'm going to say a knock knock joke, but you have to start me off! Them: Okay.. knock knock Me: Who's there? Them: *confused silence*"

"What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !"

"Book that helped Teacher: ""Which book has helped you the most in your life?"" Student: ""My father's check book!"""

"A man is talking to his mate about his dog... Man: My dog loves Snow Patrol songs! His mate: Really? Man: Yeah, he loves Chasing Cars."