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Joke of the Day

"A man is talking to his mate about his dog... Man: My dog loves Snow Patrol songs! His mate: Really? Man: Yeah, he loves Chasing Cars."

"Adam and eve just finished having sex for the first time god looks down and sees eve washing up and says "" I'm never going to get that smell out of the fish"""

"What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge?.... ...A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out."

"All of the UFO sightings were just people seeing chuck Norris fly to McDonald's."

"What is the difference between a default subreddit mod and a radical feminist? Nothing."

"I'm not saying my wife's voice is annoying, but right now I'm really jealous of deaf people."

"[Request] Apocalypse jokes I want as many apocalypse jokes as you can give me. Good, bad, ugly, I'll take any and all of them. Thank you :)"

"What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch."

"My dad is my inspiration ...cause you never know when it's gonna hit you EDIT: missed a word"

"You know whats sad? A depressed onion cutting itself."