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Joke of the Day

"What's worse? Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else?"

"That beard may hide a couple of your chins but it won't make you pretty, ma'am."

"The most realistic thing about Stranger Things is how much time kids in the 80s spent without parental supervision."

"Are your parents bakers? Cause youre inbread."

"I went to the Reddit restaurant All of its servers were busy..."

"4: Where did I come from? Me: Mommy's belly. 4: How'd I get there? Me: I, uh...put you there? 4: How did you... Me: WHO WANTS ICE CREAM?!"

"Crime in multi-storey car parks. Wrong on so many levels."

"I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?"

"Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?"

"Ask your Doctor if Adderall can help you vigorously scrub your floors and alphabetize your clothing instead of studying."