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Joke of the Day

"I've got a runny nose. edit: thanks for the cold!"

"You're a 10...on the pH scale cause you're basic."

"[carrying sleeping cat out of burning house] seriously, what purpose do you serve"

"You hear about the moneyless porn star that started selling double-ended dildos? She was just trying to make ends meet."

"Ever look out the window of a plane and see a huge target on the roof of a Target? Haven't these people ever watched the History Channel?"

"""What? Why am I a part of this?"" - the horse you rode in on"

"A naked women robs a bank. Nobody could remember her face."

"Why was WWI so short? Because they were Russian... Why was WWII so long? They were Stalin..."

"A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. ""Which side is it best to lie on?"" she asked. ""The side that pays your fee"" replied the doctor."

"I looked down on the earth from an airplane yesterday and there are PLENTY of trees left, don't worry!"