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Joke of the Day

"I told my 3 year old that Skittles are Care Bear meat and now I have the bag to myself."

"Your refrigerators running. Hmmm let me check. My refrigerator is in fact not running. Thanks you kind young anonymous caller. You have saved me from a great deal of spoilage."

"Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing ? Because they're crab apples !"

"In Victoria Secret shop... sir can i help you? yes...does this come in children sizes?"

"Why won't the pimp date any of his girls? Because he doesn't want to get involved with a cockworker."

"What if all conspiracy theories are started by the government in order to cover up what they're really doing?"

"What did the one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing they just waved! Did you sea what I did there? I'm shore you did, beach."

"Ever tried to watch your own feet while running? Don't do it. It's trippy."

"37yo husband just bought himself clothes from Hollister. Please keep my family in your thoughts during this difficult time."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo? I've never had a garbanzo on my face."