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Joke of the Day

"Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing ? Because they're crab apples !"

"Yo Momma so ugly.. She look like Darth Vader naked."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana?"

"Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco."

"DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I'm just a person, what bullshit question is this"

"How many stream cleaners does it take to change a lightbulb? Sorry, they can only change the floor essence."

"A blind man walks into a store... he then starts knocking things off the shelves. An employee asks; - ""Is there anything I can help you with?"" - ""No thanks, I'm just looking around."""

"cop joke He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"Why are some chillies nosy? They're jalapeno business"

"Should you make jokes about fizzy drinks? No they'll just go to pop!"