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Joke of the Day
"Ever tried to watch your own feet while running? Don't do it. It's trippy."
Next Joke
"I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far."
"*interrupts friends* ""u gotta hear this tweet..Ok.."" *realizes tweet starts with 'action asterisks' & doesnt know how to read that out loud*"
"I saw a fight in the chip shop the other day... Two fish got battered."
"If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they'd shoot her out of the sky with a drone."
"When people are singing Happy Birthday to me, I have no idea where to look."
"If Clinton gets elected, federal employees will be LEGALLY allowed to consume cannabis! If you smoke, you have to say ""I did not inhale"" and if you do edibles, you have to say ""I did not swallow"""
"What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So you're the one!"
"A famous singer sang for patients in a hospital. He finished with a cheerful greeting: -Bye-bye , and hope you get better! -Thanks, you too! replied the patients."
"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? ""How long have you been having this phantasy?"""