122046

Joke of the Day

"37yo husband just bought himself clothes from Hollister. Please keep my family in your thoughts during this difficult time."

"How to celebrate 4/20 Guide your newborn son into becoming an evil dictator and slaughter most of the Jewish population."

"Did you know if you send a fancy iPhone emoticon to a non-iPhone user, it just shows up as a middle finger?"

"1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, ""It has to look like an accident."" 4. Walk away."

"Why do uniformed soldiers need to eat their fruits and vegetables? If they don't, they'll be irregulars."

"How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long? AHEM!"

"Me: Janet's boyfriend reminds me of Gandhi Wife: He looks nothing like him Janet's bf: [tapping on car window] Don't forget about Gandhi"

"Love is like Wi-Fi You can't see it, but you'll know when you lose it."

"What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice? The bag of rice can feed a family of four."

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He was a little quiet."