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Joke of the Day

"turns out skrillexs music has healing properties: during a concert, a paralysed boy stood up and left"

"Went to a great Russian restaurant last night. For dessert, we ordered Chocolate Putin"

"What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bales"

"Why was the black man selling drugs? He was a pharmacist."

"*sees a woman struggling with a big suitcase up the stairs* Me: Need help with that? Her: Yeah! Me: *gives her a hug* You got this, girl."

"Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it."

"What kind of money do snowmen use? Iced lolly."

"Just dropped a book on my head guess I am only to blame my shelf"

"I screwed up self-checkout at the supermarket and had to ask myself if I could see a manager."

"[job interview] ""I'll never hire you"" ME: [swordfighting a field mouse] Is it cuz I'm swordf- NO IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE LOSING TO A FIELD MOUSE"