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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bales"

"it might be a handjob for her... but it's a career for me."

"My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe"

"The only good thing about being a chemist... Is that no one knows what I'm doing with my dog when I tell them ""I'll be in my lab""."

"Hillary and Trump are on a sinking boat, who survives? America."

"a fun way to save money this christmas season is to change your name and move away"

"I'm excited to announce that I've officially stopped using drugs for fun and solely use them to deal with the unrelenting pain of existence!"

"HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, It's the year of the snake !!! I'm still keep accidentally writing Dragon on all my checks."

"Today I saw ""Jesus doesn't care about your grades"" written on the sidewalk in chalk and all I could think was ""Thank god, he'd be pissed"""

"Once I've read about the perils of alcohol, I've decided to stop. Stop reading that is!"