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Joke of the Day

"Why was the black man selling drugs? He was a pharmacist."

"How was my engagement the same as my divorce? In the end, I settled."

"What do you call a deer with no eye? GoodMorning! NO IDEAR!"

"Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal - decide which type of annoying person you want to be."

"What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage? No, thanks, it's just carrion..."

"Why did the chicken go to the bathroom? That's where all the cocks hang out."

"What was Monica Lewinsky's high school yearbook superlative? Most likely to suck seed."

"A Triceratops was recently found frozen in the ice... ... upon closer inspection it turned out to be a tricicle."

"Just dropped ranch dressing on my phone then licked it off. So some of you just got to first base with me."

"If helium lifts things could you say It's a source of light?"