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Joke of the Day

"I'm not that smart... and have no clue as to what any word means when it has more then two syllables. How will I ever shave?"

"What's better than a pair of Emerency Medical Technicians? A paramedic(s)!"

"Have you seen the movie ""Constipation""? That's because it hasn't come out."

"A woman stopped me in my tracks. She said, ""You wouldn't know where the nearest hospital is?"" ""That is correct."" I replied."

"Why did osama kill his wife? When he lifted her skirt, he saw *bush* ."

"Why are pedophiles terrible Blackjack players? They don't hit on anything over 14."

"I need to stop Binge thinking."

"A bear walks into a bar Bartender: "" What will you have sir?"" Bear: ""Gin............ and tonic."" Bartender: ""Why the big pause?"" Bear: ""I dont know my dad had them too."""

"What would happen if the BLM people became white lives matter? They would finally be right."

"""Man this milk is SO strong. It's got like, 30% lactose or some shit. Whatever that means."" -baby parties"