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Joke of the Day
"Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes? 'Cause all their pants are half-off"
Next Joke
"Wife: Whatchya thinking about? Me: *Thinking about how dogs understand more English words than I understand dog words* Science stuff."
"Did you hear about the guy who made his wife a necklace out of crystal meth? I hear it was pretty dope."
"How do I know you're not a cop? ""If I was a cop, how would I have this?"" *shows police badge that just says 'Not a Cop' on it* Oh, okay good"
"What do you call a lesbian who doesn't believe in gods? A gay-theist. EDIT: Spelling error. whoops"
"A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says ""what'll ya have"" Seal replies ""Anything but Canadian Club."
"I told my husband he really should stop masturbating. ""Why?"", he asked ""Because you're making this dinner party REALLY uncomfortable for our guests."""
"So my friend asked me how often I make chemistry jokes. I replied ""Periodically"""
"What is brown and sticky? A stick!"
"What is the philosophy of a necrophiliac? Sit back, relax and crack open a cold one"