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Joke of the Day

"Record for the world's smallest penis? Must be hard to beat."

"How does a Welshman find a sheep in a field of tall grass? Pleasing."

"I'll act my age when I'm 69 lol"

"When you swallow a spider in your sleep, eat some dead flies the morning after to ensure the spider gives you a positive Trip Advisor rating"

"""Hello, 911"" Help I'm being murdered! ""Can you put the murderer on please"" what ""Gotta hear both sides"""

"My golf game is a lot like my iPad, I don't have an iPad."

"You'd think being in a pickle would be a good thing."

"I am the Anti-Hammer. You can touch this. Go ahead. Touch it! ANTI-HAMMER TIME!"

"How do sharks like their steak? Whale-done :)"

"""OPEN UP, THIS IS THE POLICE!"" haha, no way losers. I've got things to do. *cop whispering* ""what do we do? this guy is owning us hard!"""