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Joke of the Day

"My friend works in a recycling facility... And they showed me around to the can recycling area, and I wasn't to happy about it. It was soda pressing."

"Whats the difference between an original joke and a repost? I dunno, i just click submit"

"Nobody's going to see a sticker on a telephone pole and then become a fan of your band."

"A patient wakes up from surgery and exclaims 'Doctor! Doctor! What's wrong with me? I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replies: Yes, well I'm afraid we had to amputate both your arms."

"The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common ""enemy""."

"Why do Jews like to watch porn backwards? They like the part where the hooker gives the money back."

"How do you tell the time in the US? By looking at a bomb"

"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."

"""I'm going to be famous one day"" -Unknown"

"I really need to find a boyfriend. Guy at poker table was like ""This is my girlfriend, Kayla,"" and I was like, ""This is my sandwich, Ham."""