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Joke of the Day

"It's so insane that humans go to dark rooms to watch humans pretend to be other humans"

"What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp testicles that's covered in Reese's Pieces? A peanut butter bee-nut putter."

"If you want to touch the sky... Fuck a duck and you will fly! (I don' know who is credited with first saying this time-honored literary pearl.)"

"Cop lights should be called sex lights because every time you see them someone is getting fucked"

"Driving Have you ever been driving down the road and you flick a cig out of the window, then a few minutes later you smell something and turn around to see your nan fingering herself in the back seat?"

"How do you turn a Fox into an Elephant? Marry her."

"If you watch the Game of Thrones backwards a family overcomes near death experiences to reunite happily in a castle (plus dragons shrink)."

"I didn't want to believe that my Dad was being accused of stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there."

"When someone says something was made with ""love"" what exactly does that mean? Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake?"

"On Monday nights, I give my plants the pleasure of a striptease show by watering them with ice cubes."