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Joke of the Day

"[opens fortune cookie] -You will have a great night ""aw, that's neat, wait there's more"" [unrolls note further] marish clown assassinate you"

"Why is Reddit called Reddit? Because you've probably read it before."

"When I refer to kids as ""Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan"" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children."

"On the Wikipedia page for List of Serial Killers by Number of Victims it says ""This page is incomplete. You can help by expanding it."" Omg."

"Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest"

"What do you call a bra designed for neutrois? Ze-bra"

"i put tinder on my kindle it burst into flames"

"White men can jump to conclusions."

"Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman."

"What do you call a Mexican garden hose in Canada? Joseh"