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Joke of the Day

"They say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... Does that mean that the other one enjoys it?"

"Kinda rude of my neighbors to be burning leaves before I had a chance to blow mine into their yard."

"That awkward moment when you run into your old pizza guy and you're with your new much younger pizza guy."

"Why are life long overweight people funny? Growing up they hear the best jokes."

"I'd like to thank my dad for always being there for me From the day I was conceived to the day he found out my mom was pregnant"

"Condoms aren't as safe as they make them out to be... My friend was wearing one when he got hit by a truck. He's not doing too well..."

"So my sister attempted to commit suicide the other day and it made me so angry. I couldn't believe one of my own family members would fail at something like that."

"poetic injustice ITS ALWAYS BEEN A LIFELONG WISH TO MAKE LOVE TO A CONTORTIONIST AFTER YEARS OF PLAYING ALL THE ANGLES IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL NEVER BE ENTANGLED"

"What's the square root of 69? 8 something."

"People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people."