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Joke of the Day

"It's so hot outside! I'm sweating like Jessica Simpson in a spelling bee!"

"What did the sadist do to the masochist? Nothing."

"I respect whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable."

"How many fat people does it take to change a light bulb? 3. One to unscrew the light bulb and screw a new one on another one to operate the crane and a third one to say when the chicken is ready."

"Why are there no gay suicide bombers? They can find millions of virgins just by going on Reddit."

"A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day."

"What do you call a Dr. that shares your medical history with everyone? a HIPAAcrite"

"Have you heard the watermelon joke? You have now! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I'msosorry"

"I just gave up reading a bad book on lock picking couldn't get into it at all."