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Joke of the Day

"It's so hot outside! I'm sweating like Jessica Simpson in a spelling bee!"

"The only thing sexier than a girl wearing glasses is a girl wearing only glasses."

"Dear Autocorrect, She's an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I'm never getting laid."

"You know, I'm really glad Ben Carson didn't end up being Secretary of Education. I really didn't want our kids learning that the food pyramid was built to store grain."

"What's the name of the best brewer in the world? Bock Goodale"

"How do you tell a lonely geologist from a social one? The lonely one dated igneous rocks!"

"Why did the pig go to the casino ? To play the slop machine !"

"What do you do when you see a Flock of Seagulls? You run. You run so far away."

"The stock broker said to his mistress I'm going to put everything I've got into rubber, and if it comes off I'll marry you."

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice"