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Joke of the Day

"How many fat people does it take to change a light bulb? 3. One to unscrew the light bulb and screw a new one on another one to operate the crane and a third one to say when the chicken is ready."

"My penis is like a shotgun I pump, shoot and reload"

"What do you call a dinosaur that likes spicy food? A mega-sore-ass."

"Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship? Because an elephant never frigates. aaahhhthankyou"

"Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? He was drinking on the job."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bartender asks him if he'd like a drink. Descartes replies ""I think not"" and vanishes."

"What did the DNA say to the RNA? What are U doing here?"

"What happened to the cross-eyed circumcist? She got the sack"

"""Can't beat fresh apple pie"" she says, setting 1 down. I slam my fist into it. 3rd degree burns. ""Wrong"" I whisper 4 hrs later in the ER."

"Why is America bad at the game Chess? Because they don't know how to defend their towers."