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Joke of the Day

"I once tried to pick up a lady with a sausage joke.. ..I don't think it could have gone any wurst"

"I named my kids after the place they were conceived Although I'm almost 100 percent sure Intheass isn't mine."

"My wife just told me she read all 1800 of my tweets. I feel like I did when I was 10 and my mom found that magazine under the mattress...."

"Posting pumpkin carving pictures on social media is so last year."

"I hear there's a pre-credit stinger in Batman v. Superman But it's not worth sticking around for."

"Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction,,, I hope there's no hard feelings"

"An old Jewish man asked me for directions. I didn't really care where he was going, so I told him it was straight on until the third reich."

"If someone brought me coffee right now I would follow them around like an imprinted baby bird forever."

"What do you call the child of two parents with downs syndrome? A hand-me-down."

"Tits are like Golf You just play the course you're on."