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Joke of the Day

"The future The world in 10 years... MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100... Band leader: I'm sorry did you just assume our genre?"

"What do a 9 volt battery and a hot chick's asshole have in common? You know you shouldn't but you are going to put your tongue on it eventually."

"Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once Upon A Time......last night......I had a few drinks and......borrowed your credit card."

"If ""con"" is the opposite of ""pro"".... What is the opposite of progress?"

"I'm not passive aggressive. Unlike *some* people."

"My girlfriend's brain is going 24/7... Like a 7/11, not anyways doing business but it's always open."

"Freedom Isn't Free, So Stop Whining And Pay Your Taxes."

"What has two legs and bleeds? half a dog"

"Saw a really attractive woman the other day... She was wearing a miniskirt and a really low-cut shirt and I kept thinking to myself, ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" She did...."

"Why did i buy a black phone? So it would run faster!!"