170491
Joke of the Day
"What has two legs and bleeds? half a dog"
Next Joke
"How do you ship 100 jews across the country? Put them in a semite-truck."
"I dunked on my brother one summer, like, 20 yrs ago, on the adjustable hoop in the driveway, & I still think about it roughly twice a week."
"What did one elf girl say to the other elf girl who wasn't sharing? ""Stop being so elfish, Karen!"""
"To show off my ""Downton Abbey etiquette"" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it."
"Iggy Azalea may not be the best singer... but she certainly is the fanciest"
"I remember the difference between vertical and horizontal because vertical gives you vertigo and horizontal because whores get laid."
"Be kind to strangers. One of them could end up being your coroner."
"Saying no thanks to a CW's offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn't be made before coffee"
"A chicken & an egg are in bed together. The chicken lights up a cigarette, turns to the egg & says 'Well I guess that answers THAT question!'"