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Joke of the Day
"if a rabbit's foot brings good luck then, what happened to the rabbit?"
Next Joke
"The Mohel Did ya know that Mohels don't get paid? They only take tips."
"The difference between your husband and your Netflix account is, over time, your Netflix account learns what you like."
"The American school system is a lot like an EA game... It's mostly broken and if you pay more money you can access things that make you have an advantage over everyone else."
"Why was the lizard nervous in bed? He had reptile dysfuncton"
"What did one guy say to the other? ""You're a pain in the ass"""
"[gets pulled over for speeding] Where's the fire ma'am? *grips lighter* ""I'm not sure yet"""
"have to stop saying ""how am i going to kill my way out of this one"" everytime there is trouble going on, or at least not out loud"
"[after solid first date] Ok play it cool, don't wanna seem too eager.. *texts her 47 years later* ""Had a great time the other night :)"""
"Your Mother and I are like peanut butter and jelly She spreads and I jam"