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Joke of the Day

"The hardest part of getting a girls phone number is working up the courage to go through her trash and get it."

"What do you call a centipede with no legs An amputede"

"I moved into an advent calendar today... Its very cold, all the windows are open."

"Bats are just rats who had too much Red Bull."

"Where do sperm go to die when you jack off? The sementary."

"Why did the model pee herself? She was all dressed up with no place to go!"

"Knock knock. Who's there? She. She who? She'd ............................ get it"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!"

"What's an alcoholic's favorite novel? Tequila Mockingbird I made this up just now... I'm so excited about it."

"Toddler: *crying bc it isn't her turn with the princess crown* Me: Sweetie, you need to share Husband: Just give her the crown, you're 35"