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Joke of the Day

"I moved into an advent calendar today... Its very cold, all the windows are open."

"A dslexic man walked into a bra. His wife's washing was hanging out to dry and he wasn't looking where he was going. The man's dyslexia was admittedly pretty irrelevant to the event."

"What's the difference between America and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture."

"[Minister]: Do you take this woman to be your lawful [Groom]: I'm just here for the open bar."

"Did you hear about the latest thing affected by recession? My hairline!"

"How cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black."

"Selected a charity for my major donations this year. It's called Blink.org. They provide turn signals to the masses who can't afford them."

"Came downstairs to watch the game and the channel had changed. Looked at the dog, he looked back, then slowly slid his paw off the remote."

"Why did the 80-year-old man call his dick Jesus? It takes 3 days for it to rise again."

"Venus Williams should marry Bruno Mars and become Venus Mars."