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Joke of the Day

"Lady, your baby needs to chill. This is MY Binky. I found it fair and square after ""someone"" threw it on the ground. Finders keepers."

"What do you call... What do you call a deer with no eyes? -No idea What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? -Still no idea"

"""Raising a family is hard,"" he said. ""Not if they're buried close enough together,"" replied the Necromancer."

"What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis? TB or not TB, that is the question."

"How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 6 Step 8, 9, 11, 12"

"I tried to do stand up comedy Didn't work so well since I'm in a wheelchair."

"I casually mentioned to my cat that I've petted many animals in my time, and she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said ""How many?"""

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate pizza before it was cool"

"Did you hear about the terrorist on the talent show!? apparently he blew the judges away!"

"See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil."