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Joke of the Day

"And your 2015 Miss Universe is Columbia! -Steve Harvey"

"*sets cauldron over crackling fire* *adds lock of his hair* *does magicky stuff* Now love me. **POOF** *my left eyebrow falls off*"

"Please don't joke about WWII, my grandpa died in a KZ camp He fell down from the guard tower."

"Why did the man take a shower? He was a thief"

"Hey, Edgar Allen, go ahead and Poe me up another drink! Don't tell me to be quiet, lady! Why are there so many books in this bar?"

"eyebro What did one eyebrow say to the other eyebrow when leaving? Eyebro. I will see myself out."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo ? One is really heavy........ The others a little lighter."

"When a person says a book is so good they can't put it down, but yet, are not holding that book. This is why I have trust issues."

"How could you be pregnant!?!?!?!?! I bought he GOOD dollar store condoms!!!"

"UPS, FedEx, and DHL trucks should play a jingle like ice cream trucks so we know when our packages are coming."