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Joke of the Day
"When I'm Sad.. I sing, then realize my voice is worse than my problems."
Next Joke
"Did you guys hear about the new exorcist movie? where the woman hires the devil to pull the priest out of her son."
"Skyscrapers are more than just structures. They have many, many stories."
"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU WEREN'T THERE MAAAAN!!!"
"There are only two reasons to hate gay marriage. Either you're dumb or you're secretly worried that dicks are delicious."
"Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal - decide which type of annoying person you want to be."
"Morrissey has cancer I know, I know, it's serious."
"If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims"
"Her: You're all sweaty. Where have you been? *Flash back to an hour long struggle of me trying to separate 2 shopping carts* Me: The gym."
"2015: This is our son, Aiden. 2016: This is our son, Lemonaiden."