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Joke of the Day

"[Computer Games] Enemy: Where have you learned aiming? Response: In programming course."

"Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a martini. The bartender asks ""olive 'er twist?"""

"Scientist released new findings proving that there are now only seven planets in our solar system after I destroyed Uranus."

"My x had a Nikon breast implant She called it her photographic mammary."

"My mom said if I don't stop using reddit she will bang my head on keyboard But I know she will never do that because she loves medssxcvnklkjfsaarfscnnlknvdgjjbcfggukkfrhhvvvrrjbzddsazvbdwjjhguoiufde"

"Hey guys who write updates about how all girls are beautiful and should be respected, did you figure it out on your own or did your boyfriend tell you??"

"The EU is like a box of chocolates; Nobody likes the Turkish."

"This year's presidential election shares the same tagline as the 2004 movie ""Alien versus Predator"". ""Whoever wins... We lose."""

"Looks like it's time to start pretending Andy Murray isn't Scottish again..."

"A person dies every 3 seconds. How can a person die that many times?"