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Joke of the Day

"Why is the grass greener in Ireland, than it is in England? It's because we are all over here in England, walking on your grass."

"WHAT DO WE WANT?! Follow-up questions! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? OH HELL YEAH THAT'S THE STUFF"

"I can make you speak Irish Say ""Whale oil beef hooked"" quickly"

"Every one knows about Elvis Everyone knows about Elvis the Pelvis. Less is known about his brother Inis."

"""The captain of the Titanic just checked into an iceberg on Foursquare with 2,224 other people."" - Twitter, 1912"

"Two men. Two homosexual men are having sex and die instantaneously. Which one goes to heaven first? The one on the bottom because his shits already packed."

"If you stand in front of a mirror & repeat your top tweet 3X, your pretwitter self appears, smacks you & throws your phone in the toilet."

"I put on Shrek and fell asleep. I woke up and it was over. I ogre slept."

"Do you ever think about how ""Chips Ahoy"" is meant to evoke a weary ship captain finally encountering a cookie with a decent amount of chips"

"Reddit is a really blue community... ...because everyone is really sad about all the ""reddit is green"" reposts."