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Joke of the Day

"""Wow, that was a very good sandwich."" - Liam Neeson, at some point, probably"

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"Mr. Salad asks Ms. Soup to go on a date. Ms. Soup accepts. ""What should I wear?"" Mr. Salad asks. She replies, ""It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."""
"What is the hardest part about puberty? (NSFW) My penis."
"How do you make a German shepherd? Put him in a synagogue."
"The best part of marriage is when your spouse goes on a diet and you don't have to share your snacks."
"I just taught the dance floor a fucking lesson."
"What do you call the crucified baby Jesus? Baby on board."
"I'm typically attracted to guys who look like I'll need therapy after dating them."
"What is a toilet in Ancient Mexico? Aztec."
"According to this box of spaghetti I am an Italian family of 8"