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Joke of the Day

"*mugger walks up* GIMME EVERYTHING YOU GOT! *mugger slowly walks away with $2.16 and a lifetime of anxiety & existential misunderstanding*"

"I saw a woman with 12 breasts Sounds amazing, dozen tit?"

"Some things are better left unsaid, but I'm probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway."

"Why do rednecks like the doggie position? That way they can both watch wrestling."

"A cow moves in next door to a horse... ...the horse says, ""Welcome to the neighhhhhhhhhhhhborhood!"""

"I bought a new flat last week... I use it as my spare."

"""WHAT DO WE WANT?"" ""A BETTER STRUCTURE FOR MEASUREMENT OF TIME THAT ISN'T AN ILLUSION CREATED BY MAN"" ""WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"" ... ""shit"""

"What do Greek soccer players wear? Soccer tee's"

"There are 3 types of students in my school. Those that are good at maths and those that are bad."

"Why isn't ebola airborne? Because niggers can't fly"