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Joke of the Day

"What's a reindeer's favourite celebrity? Beyonsleigh"

"5yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" 4yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" CODE RED CODE RED"

"My girlfriend HATES it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend ( ._.)"

"What is Blair Walsh's favorite song? I have no idea honestly, you would have to ask him"

"How do you stop a nuclear bomb from squeaking...? ...WMD40."

"I turned my phone onto ""Airplane mode"" and threw it up into the air... Worst transformer ever"

"People always say ""Wow, your baby looks so much like you,"" as though it's supposed to defy genetics & look exactly like a coffee mug."

"I love volcano jokes... They magma lava my ash off."

"I saw my ex getting jumped by six guys at a party last night, so I helped out She didn't stand a chance against seven of us!"

"I keep getting emails about penis enlargement. The ones from my wife are starting to get personal, but it's the ones from my mother that really hurt."