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Joke of the Day
"Why did the mexican take xanax? For hispanic attacks."
Next Joke
"Tell me your story, park-giant-truck-diagonally guy. Things will never get better if we don't dialogue."
"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 10% off"
"Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate."
"The difference between ""Girlfriend"" and ""Girl Friend"" is that little space in between we call the ""Friend Zone""."
"It's the 20th anniversary of Infinite Jest and the 6th anniversary of my buying Infinite Jest and never getting around to reading it."
"She- get lost Me- *jumps in her wardrobe*"
"No, I don't want to hang out at your house. Your pot to snacks ratio is all off."
"How do you become a millionaire overnight? Start off a billionaire then make a bunch of bad investments."
"If you use the term ""man card"" seriously, I assume you use it to access your ""man cave,"" so you can hunker down & gobble some ""man dong."""