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Joke of the Day

"If you use the term ""man card"" seriously, I assume you use it to access your ""man cave,"" so you can hunker down & gobble some ""man dong."""

"Before you criticize someone.. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"Did you hear Caitlyn Jenner got a new cat? It's a rottweiler."

"""What's your name?"" ""Dave Fucking Smith"" ""Do you have Tourette's, Dave?"" ""No, but the vicar at my christening did."""

"When I was a kid my parents would warn me if I was naughty the boogie man would get me I was never scared though, I loved disco music"

"[on the phone with an ex while violently twisting and stabbing a voodoo doll] Are you sure you're ok?"

"What's the difference between a WWE wrestler and a soccer player? A WWE wrestler will get up after faking an injury."

"What's the difference between OP and a brick? A brick gets laid!"

"My friend's getting rich by selling photos of koi in clothes. He says it's as easy as shooting fish in apparel."

"Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness? He was too super fish oil."