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Joke of the Day

"The seven dwarves were sitting around... The seven dwarves were sitting around feeling Happy. Happy left, then they were all fucking Grumpy."

"Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers."

"Jennifer Lawrence has said that those who saw her nude photos should cower in shame... ...I don't know about all that, but I did shower after I came."

"I went to a baseball game with my dad last night. It was pretty fun, we even got on the jumbotron! Then I noticed it was the Emotional Unavailability Cam."

"I'm at my most audacious and brazen when I shamelessly use words like audacious and brazen."

"My friend just fucked his 14 year old escort. So, does anyone here know how to fix a 2002 Ford? It's pretty messed up from the event."

"What sound does a horny toad make? .....rub it rub it."

"when nothing goes right... go left"

"School in US would be 10 times easier if we use metric system, 12 times harder if we don't."

"Do you know why the bike couldnt stand by itself? It was TWO TIRED!!!"