140540

Joke of the Day

"The seven dwarves were sitting around... The seven dwarves were sitting around feeling Happy. Happy left, then they were all fucking Grumpy."

"You got acute appendicitis .. No, YOU got a cute appendicitis *winks at doctor*"

"Learn from your mistakes. Make better & better mistakes until you're making the best mistakes possible."

"NURSE: do you have any allergies ME: burnt bread NURSE: you're allergic to burnt bread? ME: yes I'm black toast intolerant"

"My doctor said the best thing I could do for my health was to go outside more. He told me to pick a fun outdoor hobby to motivate me to get out of the house. So I started smoking."

"What restaurant does a fast food worker/hacker work at? HackDonalds."

"Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter? Because he'd drop everything"

"Why is there no such thing as a great golfer? The best ones are consistently sub-par."

"I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That's it. No more reading!"

"How did the lawyer chip his tooth? The ambulance slammed on its brakes."