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Joke of the Day

"This weather girl is giving the weather report and her titties are blocking the state of Texas. #LoneStartitties"

"What did the flat iron say to the follicle? Now let me get this straight . . ."

"Christmas Chimney Congestion Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children?A: He only comes once a year -- and when he does, it's down a chimney."

"hey maybe ur parents care so much about ur birthday becuase it celebrates how long theyve been able to keep something alive for"

"People ask me what it's like designing children's parks... It's all swings and roundabouts to be honest"

"Why do milking stools only have 3 legs? Because the cow has the udder"

"Why were the pirates on the ship fighting? They needed better anchor management."

"Jake and the Cat Man: One man solves crime, the other spends the entire show being startled by thunder."

"I'm getting mixed signals from this girl first she is like ""sorry I'm married"" then it's ""leave me alone I'm married"" I mean which is it"

"How do chemists poison each other? With a Pb & J sandwich"