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Joke of the Day

"I couldn't put it off any longer, at the mall to shop for Christmas presents. Christ, what was I thinking... I came here sober."

"Those Weren't Raisinets: A Mouse Tale"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number that you've probably never heard of. I'd explain it but you probably wouldn't get it."

"Did you hear about the Indian man who was recently employed as a comedian? He got a punjabi."

"It's like these birds don't even know that it's the crack of fuck on a mother fucking Saturday morning."

"""It's payback time, bitches!"" - What I think every morning now that I wake my kids up."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection - except one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"""Choas Theory""-themed restaurant: Eating Disorder"

"Don't kiss today You're going to fast, it's only the first date"

"Yo mama's like a mosquito I gotta slap her to stop sucking"