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Joke of the Day

"It's like these birds don't even know that it's the crack of fuck on a mother fucking Saturday morning."

"Would the person who has been writing my horoscope please lighten up."

"My girlfriend has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean."

"Oxygen and magnesium went on a date... OMg!"

"If everyone contributes a small amount of their income... Together we can pool the resources to defeat socialism."

"What would santa be if he was a farmer? A jolly rancher."

"Snack mixes are great because I only want to enjoy 40 percent of what I eat."

"They're creepy and they're kooky, Mysterious and spooky, They're all together ooky The Twitter Family *click click*"

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because that's where the submarine was."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat The Wheelchair Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat, The wheelchair"