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Joke of the Day
"Just found a $5 bill in the dryer. -Adds money laundering to criminal resume."
Next Joke
"A boat carrying red paint, and a boat carrying blue paint, both crash into each other. The crew are now marooned."
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles."
"TIL when you're a child, you have 4 kidneys Well, 2 kidneys and 2 kid knees."
"How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She can fit into your wife's clothes"
"I have a six figure salary.. $000,000 It's not much, but it's honest work"
"5-year-old: Why do you do chores if you don't like to? Me: The same reason you eat your vegetables. 5: Because Mom is scary? Bingo."
"I just owned you for three seconds. Possibly five if you're a slow reader. Up to ten if you read this again."
"ENTER PASSWORD. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. RESET PASSWORD. NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD. sets fire to computer"
"Cinderella If you play Cinderella backwards it's a woman learning her place...."