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Joke of the Day

"You were the hot single in your area the whole time."

"My wife's favourite drink is wine. Which coincidentally, is also her favourite hobby."

"I SWEAR I'm not addicted to brake fluid.. I only use it in a clutch."

"What's the difference between a pimple and a Catholic Priest? A pimple waits until you're 13-years-old before coming on your face."

"...it's like what the mussel said to the clam... ""I wouldn't wish that on an anemone!"""

"Why does Martin Luther King like jam? Because God bless America"

"Just once, I'd like to see a cactus that isn't flexing."

"And now I spend the rest of the day worrying about whether or not I removed the sticker from the apple I just ate."

"Maybe you should get your own life so that you can leave mine alone, bitch."

"If sex is a pain in the ass then you are doing it wrong"