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Joke of the Day

"2 Jews walk into a bank. Bartender looks at them and says, ""Damn, I'm in the wrong joke."""

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!"

"I remember when I was a virgin I thought I'd remember every single time I got laid Since I've been married though I can't remember the last time I've had sex"

"apparently some people have been using wind to take the leaves from my frontyard and put them other places. they are still mine regardles"

"There's no such thing as premature ejaculation, the truth is that women arrive late everywhere!"

"Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!"

"Date - ""so...are you going to be doing that for the whole date?"" [i can't hear her over my tuba]"

"(NSFW) A pedophile and a little boy walk into the woods.. The boy says ""it's really dark out here, I'm scared."" The pedophile looks at him and says ""you're scared?! I have to walk back alone!"""

"If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher."

"Recent studies have shown that women who have 2 glasses of wine per day are more likely to have a stroke. Women who have a bottle of wine per day might even suck on it"