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Joke of the Day

"If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher."

"Someone shit in your fridge? Well get a new family"

"Planning on starting a restaurant called 'Cobalt 60'. Food will obviously be something to die for."

"Give me a minute, I can make this about me."

"Your wife will always agree to let you go out and get drunk with your friends and as long as you're smart and don't go."

"Donald Trump is a Mac user... He's not a fan of PC culture"

"""Bob's coming over"" Bob from work or Bob who thinks he's a cop? *knock on door* OPEN UP, POLICE *flushing drugs down toilet* ""Bob from work"""

"I was going to write a gay joke.. ..butt fuck it."

"Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk? He was lack toes and toddler ant"

"Who is this Rorschach guy? And why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?"