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Joke of the Day

"I remember when I was a virgin I thought I'd remember every single time I got laid Since I've been married though I can't remember the last time I've had sex"

"Have you ever hit a man with glasses? No. A 2by4 works much better."

"It's sad that the only thing great about my job is that my chair spins -__-"

"Why would you put a laxative In pot brownies? Shits and giggles."

"What is the worst thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"My uncle died after falling out of a helicopter.. ..so at his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a parachute. Well, it's what he would have wanted."

"I like my women like I like my cigars. Cuban, shipped in bulk and 7 years old."

"Being a baker is a great side-job... ...especially when I knead the dough."

"Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween ? It was for 'tick or tweet' !"

"I played tennis with a eunuch once... No competition, the balls were in my court."