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Joke of the Day

"Recent studies have shown that women who have 2 glasses of wine per day are more likely to have a stroke. Women who have a bottle of wine per day might even suck on it"

Next Joke
 
"Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options:1. Stay together forever2. Break upNo pressure."
"The fastest way to get karma is... ...is to make someone think they are learning how to get karma"
"Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy? Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)"
"When did they decide that every razor had to look like a piece that fell off a Transformer?"
"I saw a sign in the book store labelled ""Christian Fiction"" I think we all know where I'm going with this.."
"*makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite."
"A joke my 4 year old nephew made up. (It makes no sense, but still made me laugh.) If the three legged turtle crosses the road what color is the rabbit? Green! Because Space Jam was a good movie."
"Thanks for always acting surprised by breakfast in bed like you slept right through the great pots and pans avalanche of 6:45 AM."
"Doctor: ""You have lost a lot of blood."" Me: ""That's not good."" Doctor: ""It's not. You are the worst manager this blood bank has ever seen."""